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1.) Peer Review Workshop – Create a post in which you upload a file copy of the
1.) Peer Review Workshop – Create a post in which you upload a file copy of the workshop draft of your Narrative Paper (in .DOCX or .PDF format).
2.)After you have uploaded your file, respond to four of your classmates’ essays providing useful feedback. Be thoughtful in your comments, particularly regarding specific aspects of organization and ideas, descriptive details, and grammar / typos. (at least 200 words each)
Sample:
Dear Steve:
I really enjoyed reading your narrative about learning to sight read music. Your story about messing up your school recital was funny and reminded me of my own embarrassing moments learning new skills. There are a couple things I would love for you to consider before you go about your revisions:
Consider organizing your story chronologically – You open on the night of the recital, and then we get a series of flashbacks to your first time seeing a piano performance, your teacher rapping your fingers when you get movements wrong, your mother baking you a piano cake. There are so many flashbacks in seemingly random order that I can’t tell at the end if we are back at the recital or if it is just another flashback. To make your piece more accessible, make sure that all of the flashbacks are in chronological order and make it clear when we are back at the present recital.
The story you included about watching your friend play didn’t seem relevant to your central story: learning to sight read yourself. I would consider either explaining what this had to do with your story or cutting out this section altogether.
A lot of the jargon was hard for me to understand. Make sure you explain terms like staccato or mezzo-forte, or just use whatever the everyday word is for these terms.
Like I said, this was a funny and entertaining story, and I think a good revision could really help the reader get the most out of it. Good luck!
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